Death is My Calling
by Keelz
Summary: What if Edward never came back? Bella was suicidal? Victoria was on the loose? and Bella is... Not a Vampire ExB
1. This is Me

**Chapter 1: This is me**

My life is a bottomless pit, one with no end and no escape. My name doesn't matter anymore I am not that girl anymore. It has been 6 years since I died. I am not really dead, I am emotionless. I mark that fateful day as my death it might as well be. I am not here, empty space constantly lost in memories and thoughts, drowning out the world. What is this mysterious day? You are not the first one to want to know. This day is the day that he left me, my reason for existence disappeared. I look at the calendar and cursed the day under my breath. I will always hate September 15th.

"People please put your hands together for Bella Swan!" Yelled a woman who sat on one of the plush couches in the middle of a living room like set. I walked slowly as the crowd roared in response. I stared over the packed audience as I walked over to the one of the couches next to the woman. The woman had a over botoxed face and heavy makeup, a too large smile was on her face as she played the poster child for corny TV shows. I waved to the crowd and attempted a smile as I sat down. The woman looked eager to start the show. Everyone looked anxious to start. This would be Bella Swan's first TV interview and everybody wanted to know what I did and how a young girl could sing of such depression.

"So Bella welcome to Hollywood Real Stories! I am of course Amy and I am dying to know EVERYTHING about you," I smiled weakly. She took this a cue to continue, "Bella you are so mysterious. You were a nobody until about a year ago. Such talent must have been know for a while. We want the whole story!"

"6 years ago I was left by my boyfriend. He was not just a boyfriend, we had talked about forever when we had talked about each other. He was handsome, beautiful, smart, strong, and he was one of the best piano players ever. He was and is the love of my life, my eternity." I spoke slowly so the crowd could drink this in.

"What was his name?" She was over eager when she asked this question.

"It was Edward." I was shocked I could even say the name without the hole ripping open again, but life had become so much less complicated without emotions. I almost wondered that if they came back maybe Jasper would be shocked, me being emotionless and all, but they weren't coming back. "He left me, I was heartbroken to say the least. I screamed and cried myself to sleep for months and 5 months after he left me I lost my voice permanently, that's what the doctors though. Meanwhile I was in therapy for suicidal thoughts." The audience hung on to my every word, completely spellbound. "I am completely sure that the only reason I did not kill myself that 1st year was that I was convinced he was coming back for me. After I lost my voice when I was in therapy I was convinced to write a Journal. But that was too personal for my to do. So to meet the expectations I wrote poems, my rough drafts for my songs. The poems helped relive the pain but it was never gone and I will never be. I realized as I reread the poems that they had a good count and I played them piano parts, from what I had learned from him. That was the time I started to try to sing again. When I was able to whisper little sentences again they put me in physical therapy. By the end of the therapy I had a voice 10 times more beautiful than the other ones. But in never really set out to record them. 2 years ago my father had a friend and his daughter over. When I played for them the daughter, Ellen White, a musical producer, gave me a deal. She would give a single and if it did well then I would get a album. And here I am now."

"Wow!" Said the lady named Amy. "Who would have thought that Hollywood's newest star had such a past! Now tell us about recording and being on tour for the first time. How was it?" Amy said. She could make a horror story into a Disney story I thought. The interview continued while She asked pointless and easy questions, I answered them all flawlessly giving the audience just what they wanted to hear.

It dragged on till it felt like years. I was always uncomfortable in public but this was worse. I was hugely relieved when the beefy director called "Cut!" I headed into the dressing room to take off the makeup and bad outfit. I changed into my sweats and scrubbed my face till it was red. Dressing up reminded me too much of Alice. Everything reminded me too much of them. Even the sunglasses that Rosalie would have loved almost broke my emotionless facade.

As I left the dressing room cameras flared in my face giving me eye spots. I tried to walk out to my car. I was Hollywood's misfit; you had to pressure me into wearing makeup and designer clothes, I lived in Charlie's house, I always drove myself everywhere. I breath a sigh of release as I reached the door to the studio. My freedom was short lived as the friendly secretary dragged me to the studio's backstage.

In the middle of the room stood the Producer, Director, and a Chef carting a huge cake that read 'Thank you Bella, Love Your Friends at E! News!'

"To a successful and ah-mazing show!" Said a Natalie Larkin, the shows producer, "We have just received our numbers and this show has had the most viewers of this and past season's! I would LOVE to thank Bella Swan! Girl get up here!!" I walked and as I reached her side a dozen cameras went off. I stood beside her and faced the rest of the crowd. "Bella would you do the honors?"

"I would love to!" I replied with false enthusiasm and with that I was handed the knife. I sank the knife into the cake

'How appropriate,' I thought, 'a cake for my death day!'

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**Disclamer: I don't own Twilight!**

**Hey! Hope you like this. This is my 1st story! The story will be like others Edward comes back but with a twist, Duh! It would be boring without one!**

**Love, Keelz**


	2. Now they know

**Chapter 2: Now they know**

Carlisle PoV

When I came home from work my family, minus one, was staring at a screen promising the tragic story of Hollywood's newest pop sensation. I wondered why this would hold any interest for my family. After we left Bella music was almost never played in our house. It hurt Esme and Alice too much. It was torture to see beautiful Esme in so much pain; she had lost a son and daughter. Then on the screen I saw a familiar face on the screen, one I never thought I would see again. _It couldn't be could it?_ The TV confirmed my suspicions as the show's host yelled out… "Please welcome Bella Swan!!" My heart dropped as I saw the girl walk over and sit on the couch. The girl held the same empty expression my son's held last time I saw him. She wasn't there anymore. She was empty.

Alice PoV

"Suicidal," said the voice on the TV screen. I gasped, had we hurt her that much? What had Edward said to her the night he left? Not that I thought she would be happy but I thought she would still be Bella, She wasn't Bella anymore. She was too hollow, unhealthy looking, and her voice was sticky sweet, nothing like her old familiar one. _He _had run like a coward. Last time I saw him was 2 months ago. Now my stupid brother had no way for us to reach him because he wouldn't answer his phone. Bella needed him; I knew that she hadn't just gotten over her depression or suicidal thoughts. I continued to listen as I gazed on in horror as my best friend, my sister, told her devastating story. Something inside of me shattered.

Jasper PoV

I sat by my wife, her face twisted in pain, I tried sending her waves of calm, but they only could do so much. I felt the shock, the hurt and so many other pent up emotions in this room. Emmett was muttering curses under his breath, if vampires could cry Esme would be crying, Carlisle was in shock, even Rosalie was affected by her story, fight back waves of hatred and pity. Everybody was feeling too much and I didn't need my senses to know that Bella was traumatized just saying his name. Suicidal? That wasn't normal, well neither was Bella.

Emmett PoV

I stared at my little sister in shock. Bu the time the harder questions were done I had cursed Edward to hell and back, in many different languages. How could anyone hurt that much and still be alive? Broken so completely and not yet have shattered? The next time Edward decided to come home he was going to have hell to pay for. Nobody…Nobody hurts **my** little sister!

Rosalie PoV

As I watched the frail human on the screen I was washed over with waves of hatred and pity. Pity for her because she was suffering, I knew without Emmett I would be lost. I couldn't imagine feeling that. Hatred that a small human girl could destroy my family's happiness and make me pity her too. I sat confused by with emotion was stronger.

Esme PoV

I watched as my daughter told these fake people on screen her story. It took all my strength to keep from sobbing and even more to keep from running to her and holding her in arms to comfort her. I knew that if Edward saw this he would have to go back to her. I wished so badly to him and show him this clip, show him how much she hurts, how much she needs him, how much he needs her, how much we all need each other. I would show him and we would be a family. We would be together and happy I knew it.

"You know... Edward is coming back in a week or so. It would be too bad if we happened to record this and have it playing when he came back." Said Alice faking a very innocent tone.

"Hell yeah!!" Emmett yelled, jumping up from his seat. I grabbed the remote and hit record. I was getting my son and my daughter back. The plan was fail proof. Thank God for TiVo!

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!**

**The Cullens!!! I love writing from each of their PoV! Esme was a little OOC but I think she would have thoughened up a little after losing two "children". Next chapter a old friend comes back!!**

**Love, Keelz**


	3. Chapter 3

My house was new and in between Seattle and Forks. I still lived close to Forks so I could see Charlie and Jake. Jake was my best friend and a werewolf. He was there for me and took care of me when no one else could. But Jake was out of town he had just gotten married to his imprint, Tracy, and they were on their honeymoon. They were so cute together and they made me cry when ever I saw him look her in the eye. I lived there with my butler, Mr. Christopherson. I sat in the bathroom of my house on the floor trying to open the newest padlock. The pain was just too much it had been a day since I had talked about Edward 2 years and 1 day since I had last seen him… it was too much. I fiddled with the key picks trying to open the new lock. My locks on the medicine cabinet were replaced after every suicide attempt. Gary, my therapist was on full time hire by Charlie and Elli, my manager. His job was to keep all materials that I could use in a suicide attempt away from me and too cover up my suicidal attempts and my mild paranoia. That meant my house was padlock crazy and I could do hardly anything without Gary's approval. He also over saw that no one I came into contact with was really pale. I use to wonder how much they paid him so that he would stay with me, but one day he told me. He gets 50,000 a week and a bonus 10,000 when he covers up a suicide attempt. That blew my mind away and then I realized that the other alternative was going to a mental hospital. So now I sat in the bathroom once again… I really don't want to hurt Charlie but there was no other way. I hate this life. I hated the spotlight and the gossip and the concert and the crazy fans and the loneliness, nobody was really my friend they were imitations and suck ups. I never before had felt really lonely but after Him and His family I was different. The lock clicked. Enough thinking, I was done thinking I was doing this time it would work. Gary was taking a shower, he would never know until it was too late. I unscrewed the cap and I took out 12 pills. I one was enough to knock you out 12 was for good. I took out a pen and paper… I knew they would probably never see this and if they saw it they probably wouldn't care but I had to write them something.

Goodbye Edward.

I loved you and only you. Sadly my mind is not a sieve and time won't heal me. I will die here on this floor thinking of you, loving you and only you. Tell Alice I really loved her like sister. She was my best friend and I miss her almost as much as I miss you. Tell Jasper I wished I had known him better. He seemed cool. Tell Emmett that he was the best older brother ever and that I really needed his jokes I really wished he could have cheered me up some days. Tell Rosalie that even though she never liked me that I wanted so much for her to like me and that one day I wanted to be her sister. Tell Esme that she was like my own mother and a lot of times I thought of her as my own. I loved her so much. Tell Carlisle that I thought he was one of the greatest men ever. That I could never repay him for all the times that he saved my live or one of my limbs. Edward I want to tell you that you are wrong; I am a good actor only those close to me can see my pain. I thought it would be impossible, everyday I wake up and the pain crushes me. I want to see you happy without me; you have probably already found a distraction. Tell her that she is the luckiest girl in the world, that I wish more than anything that I was her. I wish all of you the best of luck in your future; that you are happy and you are safe.

Love Bella

I wrote another letter for Charlie, one for Gary, and one for Jake and Tracy. And then I swallowed the pills and I started falling asleep. I thought I later heard the door crash open, but it didn't matter I was too far along I was going to die. I smiled. And then above all I was gone

"No!" cried a voice I would recognize anywhere… Victoria. "You stupid human! You aren't supposed to die now! I was waiting for the perfect moment and then you have to go and kill yourself .I was supposed to finish you off. You were supposed to feel pain you were supposed to die at my hands, your precious Edward watching on. But you stupid human with your human ways you befriended the werewolves so I had to wait and now you are going to die and I have secret Edward still loves you." My shocked body was convinced this was a dream but part of me thought it was too real to be a dream. I wanted it to be real for what she was saying to be real that Edward still loves me

"No…" I whispered feebly.

"Oh yes. Laurent, you remember him don't you? Well Laurent has moved to Denali imagine his surprise when the Cullen's move there without their little pet Edward seemed so taken to. So taken to they destroyed James. What's more is that everyday Edward would not come out of his room and everyday the pixie-one, Alice, right? Everyday she argued with him bagging him to go back to you or at least join the family. And one day that changed Edward had a little outburst yelling for miles to hear something about not destroying YOUR soul. Then he left. How does it feel to know that you destroyed a whole family's happiness even the blonde one is sad."

"Rosalie? Not real…not real…not real…not real…not real…"

"Oh but it is and now before you die I am going to make you experience the worst pain possible and know that he still loves you how does that feel?" And then her face became so close to me I could see it was really her. It was really real, and that made me cry. Her face was covered with a satisfied smirk and she opened her mouth her so sweet scent wafting to me and then her teeth dug into my skin and I felt the pain. But the pain was only second to the pain when he left. Then she started sucking my blood. I passed out as soon as I smelt the blood. My last thought was Edward. Save me Edward.


End file.
